As temperatures in Southern California and Arizona hit near freezing (among the coldest days in 22 years), my family in Kentucky is basking in 65 degree warmth. I keep glancing out my hotel window at the empty pool and thinking of the unfairness of my plight. I should be out there, soaking up the sun, feeling the warmth on my skin and pitying those who are shivering in their parkas up north.
Usually this is the part where I cry and complain about how these things always happen to me. You see, I have always been an eternal pessimist, focusing on the negative of every situation. In learning about health and wellness, however, I came to realize that an important component of good health is our life's view. We can eat kale and quinoa, run 3 miles a day, and sleep like a baby, but if we cannot see the good in ourselves and our lives, we are affecting our health, longevity, and vulnerability to depression, as well as our professional and social success. Sadly, pessimistic thinkers face an increased likelihood of troubles in all those areas, and more.
In the course of his research, Martin Seligman Ph.D., author of "Authentic Happiness" found that pessimistic, negative-minded people tend to be less healthy, less proactive about their health, more apt to die young. They are more likely to be less socially and professionally successful and do worse in school and sports than optimistic, positive-minded types. They also have rockier interpersonal relationships and more trouble achieving lasting happiness.
Optimists, meanwhile, tend toward happiness naturally. They tend to have lower blood pressure and higher levels of immunity. They take better health precautions, seek out more health information, and endure pain better. Research indicates that happiness encourages productivity and is also a predictor of better job reviews and higher income.
Seligman goes on to explain that it all comes down to two world views. Optimists tend to see positive events as evidence of permanent and enduring positive reality, or a reflection of their own accomplishment and value. They see negative events as temporary, unlucky or situation-specific setbacks that have little or nothing to do with them. With pessimists, however, it’s just the opposite. They see negative events as evidence of permanent and enduring negative truths, or as a reflection of their own incompetence or imperfection. Meanwhile, they see positive events as temporary, haphazard or situation-specific strokes of good fortune that have little or nothing to do with them.
Pessimism and optimism are reflections not of the things that happen in your life — the things that do or do not befall you — but rather of how you explain or interpret the events that occur. As a lifelong pessimist, I have always viewed negative events as indicative of my life being cursed (as if somehow the bad weather this week only affected me). But, I am now more aware of this tendency, which is the first step toward change. I recognize that my thoughts and beliefs about any situation can either serve or sabotage me.
Now I have a choice. I can sit and look at the empty pool and bemoan the fact that I'm not in it, certain that nothing in my life ever goes right. Or, I can be grateful for a wonderful visit with family and friends, the laughter, good times, and good food we shared.
So as the temperature sits at 49 degrees, I no longer look at the empty pool with envy for those who will yet enjoy it, but I see the sun shining and am basking in memories of love and laughter (and the delicious ahi tuna taco I had last night!).
What do you see in your empty pool?
www.personaljourneywellness.com
